when i met you, i fought hard to keep that focus,
to work toward being better, shining brighter.
and the chase brought me far more pleasure
than each subsequent success.

and then, when i watched you walk out on me,
i was filled with a resolve to return wholly to those old ways,
to bend the world around me into shape,
to hammer at my body until i felt that it would break.

i'm good.
where i go, i go alone.